At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
