Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
