What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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