Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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