what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
