But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I puked a lego.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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