I'm going to jail i love you
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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