Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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