I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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