Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
