just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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