You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's blow job season.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
