dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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