I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
