Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
