Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
