By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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