I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
