How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
