oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
