the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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