Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
