Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
