you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
