If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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