Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
