I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
