Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
