FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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