I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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