you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
