I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
