we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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