I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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