so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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