"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
