well most of my day revolves around power hour
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
