I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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