at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
