having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
