We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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