Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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