i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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