I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
