Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
