GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
