I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
