So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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