doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
