dude i'm inner monologue high
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
