well you can't waste a boner
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
