I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
