Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
