Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
