at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
