the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
