You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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